【www.zhuodaoren.com--话剧剧本】
第一篇:《5人搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》》
搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：
西门吹雪
叶孤城
花满楼
king
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：Oh ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y: Ha-ha, Never mind bay-bay.
X: Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name? Y: Ha-Ha ,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous-------Ye Gu cheng. Who are you?
X: I am Ximenchuixue.
Y惊讶: Ar, ximenchui xue?
X: Yes, what is wrong?
Y: I heard that you are the besting Martial Arts?
X: Great, you know me !
Y抱腿：Please, please„„ Don’t kill me! Let me you go! X: No, I must kill you !
Y: I don't want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X: No way! Because we are fighting now! you know?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don ''''''''''''''''t force me!
X: Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, very good! I like drinking it. How do you know that? Y: please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha-ha
Y: Do you still want to kill me?
X: Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good! Very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X: I’m sure I won’t!
Y: I must give you a lesson! If I don''''''''''''''''t beat your this time, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!
X捂着肚子，蹲下： Oach -Oach !
Y大笑：Ha-Ha„„
X可怜状: help! Help! Where is the wash room?
Y: What ?
X: Toilet?
Y: What ?
X: The “WC”?
Y: Oh, I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a crossing road!
X: Thanks, bye-bye.
Y掏出纸屑吹:This is genuine snow!
H: Stop! Protecting the environment is a basic obligation! Y: Who are you?
H: Hua---man----lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y: Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” now,ha„„
H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !
Y: You are right !
H : Teriffic !you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us ?
Y: Yes ,It’s very good .
H: Ok , follow me , Let’s go to see my king !
Y: Ok ,Let’s go!
第二幕：无间道
H: My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you ! （指Y） this is yegucheng .
K: sit down please , yegucheng.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache , sear and aids? Y: Yes , I do .
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停） X唱着上:Only you„„(看到戒子) this ring should be mine! K: But who are you ? Why should it belong you?
Y急切: king! Debarking !I must go now ,my brother is looking for me ! huo xi(维语再见)
K: huo xi? What does that mean? It is not English, isn’t it ? Y: How clever„„
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here !I want to tell you something! Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X: Forgive me? Why?
Y: Once there was a change before me ,I lost it. If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell you “I love you” ,If there must be a limited period ,I hope it is a thousand years!
X: You shall cheat me !all you did are wrong ! how can you tell the lady’s “WC”!
Y:I like going lady’s WC .I„„I„„I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)
X: m-i-l-k ? haha , a yi xi da lu!(我爱你的意思)【5人搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》】
K: a yi xi da lu? What’s the meaning? Why I also can’t understand you?
X: You are stupid! It means “I love you”.
K: Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty words to me!
X: What? (侧耳装着听不到) You---kill----me ?come, come„(Ｘ上去抓住K)
K: Fuck you. I must kill you!
X: How can you kill me? haha„„
Y: Let me have a try! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
K: thank you very much, you save me . Now, I’ll give you the ticket for American to let you
have a vacation.
Y: That’s good. But there is one more thing. Can you give me a MM ?I want to go American with her.
K: of course .You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha„
Y: Hahaha-----
H: Where’s somewhere?
K: What?
Y: Do you want to go to the lady’s “WC”?
X: Yes, I„„I„„ do.
H顶着摇头：X, no , no， you can’t go to Lady’s “WC”. That is not the place where you can go into because you are X ! you are the best man of Chinese Kongfu !
X: what if I’m the best in the world? !why I try my best to live but I’m still so miserable ? when can I get my freedom? Must be the dead day ? !
K: you are right. One will not be clever until the day he die. In that case ,why will you die in such a bad sorrow way !go into the Lady’s WC , then die , comfortably ! go ahead !
H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
H: my real name is LuXiaofeng------the wife of X .I’m a spy. K惊讶: !you---you---You are LuXiaofeng ? X’s wife ?
Y: I have already recognized you . do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! because of you ,I decide not to believe anyone
else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说)Ｘ will die ,go and see him ,please .
H扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ, do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !
K: what a moving story !I was impressed !
Y: life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume ! H: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume ! (H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状: don’t leave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please not abandon me !realize that I’m wrong .help me ,I intend to be back ,help me ,beg you------help me . I’ll never do that again !(Y死，音乐停)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together . X: go home ! ?
H: Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love !
X: do you want me live a life in such a sorrow way ? ok , ok , I promise I will believe for you .but !you know, I don’t have time left ,but you have ,promise that you will be happy everyday !You must do me this favor... promise me you will survive... that you will never give up... no matter what happens... no matter how hopeless... promise me now ,and never let go of that promise.
H: I promise .
X: Never let go .
H: I promise . I will never let go ,
X.I ''''''''ll never let go.(X死)
H: believe !yeah , believe ! believe without hesitation !（H自刎，艰难的爬到X身边死.音乐停。）
第二篇:《5人搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》》【5人搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》】
搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：
西门吹雪
叶孤城
花满楼
king
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .
Birdsaredancinginthecold .
Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .
Windiscominginsilence.
Another mysteriousmanapproaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou !
Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay.
X:Excuseme， whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname?
Y:ha ha ,Iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. I’mthemostfamous-------YeGucheng. Whoareyou? X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?
X:Yes,whatiswrong?
Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts?
X:Great, youknowme !
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’tkillme! letmeyougo!
X:No, Imustkillyou !
Y:Idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!
X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don''''''''''''''''t forceme!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?
Y:pleasedrinkit!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha
Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?
X:Sure, must! milkismilk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?
X:I’msureIwon’t!
Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!
X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……
X可怜状: help! help! Whereisthewashroom?
Y:What ?
X:Toliet?
Y:What ?
X:The “WC”?
Y:Oh,I see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y掏出纸屑吹:Thisisgenuirnesnow!
H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!
Y:Whoareyou?
H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC” now,ha……
H惊讶:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!
Y:Youareright!
H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?
Y:Yes,It’sverygood.
H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking!
Y:Ok,Let’s go!
第二幕：无间道
H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! （指Y） thisisyegucheng.
K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?
Y: Yes,Ido.
K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!（音乐停）
X唱着上:Onlyyou……(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine!
K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?
Y急切: king! dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(维语再见)
K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isn’t it ?
Y:How clever……
X冷酷:yegucheng! comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething!
Y抱X的腿:oldbrother ! Forgiveme!
X:Forgiveme? Why?
Y: Oncetherewasachangebeforeme,Ilostit. Ifthegodgivemeantherchance, I’lltellyou“I love you”,Iftheremustbea limited period,Ihopeitisthousandyear!
X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s“WC”!
Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)
X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)
K: ayixidailu?What’sthemeaning? whyIalsocan’tunderstandyou?
X:Youarestupid! Itmeans“I love you”.
K:Don’t saythat“you love me”. I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!
X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You---kill----me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)
K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!
X:Howcanyoukillme? haha……
Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou
haveavacation.
Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.
K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha……小品剧本大全 Y:Hahaha-----
H:Where’ssomewhere?
K:What?
Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s“WC”?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
H顶着摇头：X,no, no， youcan’tgotoLady’s “WC”. Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!
X: whatifI’mthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutI’mstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? !
K: youareright. onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie. Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLady’s WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead !
H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !
K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?
H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng------the wifeofX .I’maspy.
K惊讶: !you---you---YouareLuXiaofeng ? X’wife ?
Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (轻声说)Ｘwilldie ,goandseehim ,please .
H扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning !
K:what amoving story !I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn’t resume !
(H忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状:don’tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you------help me . I’ll never dothat again !(Y死，音乐停)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
X:gohome ! ?
H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !
X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor... promise meyou will survive... that youwillnevergiveup... nomatter what happens... no matter howhopeless... promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise.
H: I promise .
X:Never let go .
H:Ipromise . Iwill never let go ,
X.I''''''''ll never letgo.(X死)
H:be alive !yeah , bealive ! bealivewithout ahendance !lifecanbechanceliketimecangotoback . thereisbeatifulsnowbutinsping , solifecancomefromthebeginning ! （H自刎，艰难的爬到X身边死.音乐停。） 小品剧本大全
第三篇:《搞笑5人英语剧本之西门吹雪》
搞笑5人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：西门吹雪 叶孤城 花满楼 king 旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：Oh ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y: Ha ha, Never mind baybay.
X: Excuse me， who are you on earth? could you tell me your name? Y: Ha ha, I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous-------YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:I am Ximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchuixue?
X:Yes, what is wrong?
Y:I heard that you are the besting MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! let me you go!
X: No, I must kill you !
Y: I don't want to be killed. There are an eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X: Noway! Because we are fighting now! you know?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don't force me!
X: Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, very good! I like drinking it. how do you know that? Y: Please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha
Y: Do you still want to kill me?
X: Sure, must! milk is milk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good! Very good! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X: I’m sure I won’t!
Y:I must give you a lesson! If I don't beat you this time, you’ll never be have properly! 3-2-1-0!
X捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……
X可怜状: help! help! Where is the washroom?
Y:What ?
X:Toliet?
Y:What ?
X:The “WC”?
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y掏出纸屑吹:This is genuine snow!
H:Stop!Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!
Y:Who areyou?
H:Hua---man----lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by meand is in“WC” now,ha……
H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world!
Y:You are right!
H:Teriffic!you are the one my king looking for! Do you want joinin us? Y:Yes,It’s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!
Y:Ok,Let’s go!
第二幕：无间道
H:My dearest ! let me introduce Yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is Yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache,sair and aids?
Y: Yes,Ido.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）【5人搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》】
X唱着上:Onlyyou……(看到戒子) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you? Why should it belong you?
Y急切: king! Dear king!I must go now,my brother is looking for me! huoxi(维语再见)
K:huoxi? What does that mean? It is not English, isn’t it ?
Y:How clever……
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here!Iwant to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:oldbrother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgiveme? Why?
Y: Once there was a chance before me, I lost it. If the god give me an other chance, I’ll tell you,I love you,If there must be a limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can you tell the lady’s“WC”!
Y:I like going lady’s WC .I.I..I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)
X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我爱你的意思)
K: ayixidailu?What’s the meaning? Why I also can’t understand you? X:You are stupid! It means“I love you”.
K:Don’t say that you love me. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to
me!
X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You---kill----me?come, come…(Ｘ抓住K) K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1-0(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
K:thank you very much,you save me. Now, I’ll give you the ticket for American to let you have a vacation.
Y:That’s good. But there is one more thing. Can you give me a MM ?I want to go American with her.
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:Hahaha-----
H:Where’s some where?
K:What?
Y:Do you want to go lady’s“WC”?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
H顶着摇头：X,no, no， you can’t go to Lady’s “WC”. That is not the place where you can go into ! because you are X ! you are the best man of Chinese kongfu!
X: what if I’m the best in the word? Why I try my best to live but I’m still so miserable ? when can I get my freedom? Must be the dead day ? !
K: you are right. One will not be clever until the day he die. In that
第四篇:《搞笑英语话剧剧本》
搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：西门吹雪、叶孤城、花满楼、king、路人、上官雪儿
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:, Never mind baby.
X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?
Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng. Who are you?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to be looked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!【5人搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》】
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Do you still want to kill me ?
X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.【5人搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》】
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I’m sure I won’t!
Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly ! 3-2-1!
X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit
（一人路过，x起身跑过去）
X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼)
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” .
H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !
Y:You are right !
H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my
king,he will give what you want.
Y:Yes,It’s very good.
H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!
第二幕：无间道
H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?
King:yes,I will.
Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ?
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:of course.
美女出场
M:hello，帅锅..
K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter
what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）
X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive you? Why ?
Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell
you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”! Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milk?I love you.
K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !
X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)
K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑
到西门吹雪身边）
Y :do you want to go to wc?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.
M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue. K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover?
Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell you,Ｘwill die.
M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and
tomorrow is a good beginning !
K:what a moving story ! I was impressed ! Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !
(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
X:go home ! ?
M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.
X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.
M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,
M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !
第五篇:《搞笑英语话剧剧本》
搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
搞笑7人剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》
演员表：
西门吹雪
叶孤城
花满楼
king
路人
上官雪儿
旁白
道具：牛奶两袋，匕首一把，戒子一枚，纸屑若干。
第一幕：决战紫荆城之颠
旁白：A quiet village is covered with white snow .
Birds are dancing in the cold .
A man is walking along the street ,step by step .
Wind is coming in silence.
Another mysterious man approaches .
Y与X相遇．
X：oH ,I am sorry to knock you !
Y:, Never mind baby.
X:Excuse me， who are you on earth? Could you tell me your name?
Y:,I won’t change my name! no matter what happens. I’m the most famous——-YeGucheng.
Who are you?
X:Iamximenchuixue.
Y惊讶:Ar, ximenchui xue?the best MartialArts?
X:Great, you know me !Today is your dead date!
Y抱腿：Please, please…… Don’t kill me! Let me go!
X:No, I must kill you !
Y:I don’t want to be killed. There are a eighty-year-old mother and a three-year old son to
be looked after by me!
X:No way! Because we are fighting now ! you know ?
Y突然站起冷冷的说：Don’t force me!
X:Pardon!
(Y拿出一袋牛奶)
X抢过牛奶:milk, very good ! I like drinking it. How do you know that?
Y:please drink it!
X喝完牛奶:Thanks,
Y:Do you still want to kill me ?
X:Sure, must! Milk is milk.
Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very good ! very good ! I hope you will not forget what you said!?
X:I’m sure I won’t!
Y:I must give you a lesson ! If I don’t beat you this time, you’ll never behave properly !
3-2-1!
X捂着肚子，蹲下（做痛苦状）：Oach,Oach !
Y大笑：HaHa……the milk is exceed the time limit
（一人路过，x起身跑过去）
X可怜状: excuse me! Help , help , Where is the washroom?please ,tell me .
Y:Oh,I see ,go along this street and turn right when you see a corssing road!
X:Thanks,byebye.
Y:byebye (以胜利者的语气，转头,看见 花满楼)
Y:Who are you?
H:Hua—man—-lou! Have you seen ximenchuixue?
Y:Yes, he was beaten by me and is in “WC” .
H惊讶:Now you are the best in the world !
Y:You are right !
H:Teriffic ! you are the one my king looking for ! do you want join in us? If you follow my
king,he will give what you want.
Y:Yes,It’s very good.【5人搞笑英语话剧剧本《西门吹雪与叶孤城》】
H:Ok, follow me, Let’s go to see my king!
第二幕：无间道
H:My dearest ! let me introduce yegucheng to you! （指Y） this is yegucheng.
K:sit down plese, yegucheng.
Y:excuse me,I have a question.will you give me what I want just if I follow you?
King:yes,I will.
Y:That’s good. Can you give me a MM ?
K:of couse.You are the one who has the similar taste with me! Hahaha……
Y:of course.
美女出场
M:hello，帅锅..
K: this is shangguanxueer.ok,now let’s have a ritual.
H走到Y前，《婚礼进行曲》起，H神甫状:Yegucheng! Do you want to follow my king no matter
what happens such as cold headache , poor ,rich?
Y: Yes,I do.
K: Huamanlou, come . put the ring on his finger!（音乐停）
X唱着上:(看到戒指) this ring should be mine!
K:But who are you ? why should it belong to you?
Y急切: king! Dear king ! I must go now , my brother is looking for me.
X冷酷:yegucheng! Come here ! I want to tell you something!
Y抱X的腿:old brother ! Forgive me!
X:Forgive you? Why ?
Y: Once there was a chance before me , I lost it . If the god give me another chance, I’ll tell
you “ I love you ” , If the remustbea limited period,I hope it is thousand year!
X:You shall cheat me ! all you did are wrong ! how can you tell me the lady’s “WC”! Y:I like going lady’s WC .I……I……I think that you like what I like.(Ｙ又拿出一袋牛奶)
X:milk?I love you.
K:Don’t say that “you love me”. I’ll kill you for you saying dirty word to me !
X:What? (侧耳装着听不到) You—kill—-me?come, come…(Ｘ上去抓住K)
K:Fuck you. I must kill you!
X:How can you kill me? haha……
Y:Let me have a try! 3-2-1(X捂着肚子，蹲下)
M: oh,what happened?（看着X，做惊吓状）are you ok?（跑
到西门吹雪身边）
Y :do you want to go to wc?
X:Yes,I……I…… do.
Y:haha, the milk was added 三聚氰胺 beyond standards.
M: you , stupid , bad behavior ! go away !
K; why ? why do you help him ! who actually are you ?
M: actually,I’m a spy sended by LuXiaofeng,and I fell in love with ximenchuixue. K惊讶: !you—you—You are X’lover?
Y: do you know, you are the first person who cheated me ! I hate you .(轻声说)let me tell
you,Ｘwill die. M扑倒在Ｘ的身边：Ｘ,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope in the future and tomorrow is a good beginning !
K:what a moving story ! I was impressed !
Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
M: life is a progress ,and it is delight that it needn’t resume !
(M忽然将一把匕首插进Y的心脏，Ｋ吓跑.音乐《再见，警察》起)
Y痛苦状:I never anticipate you treat me by this ,why?tell me why?(Y死，音乐停)
（X咳，H扑到身边，电影《我的父亲母亲》原声音乐起）
M: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
X:go home ! ?
M:Tomorrow is another day ! even you have the last second to live ,you should be alive ,not only for me , but for our love.
X: promise me,you’ll get on well,and you’ll never let go.
M I promise . I will never let go（X死） ,
M: be alive !yeah , be alive ! be alive without ahendance !
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