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第一篇:《初中英语笑话》
1. Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”
2.Let me take it down
An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
"Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."
为我所用
一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”
“请再说一遍，让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。
3.Watering Flower In Rain
Tom:Why doyou have that watering can?
Dan:I'm going to water the flowers.
Tom:But it'd raining.
Dan:That's OK.I'm wear-ing my raincoat.
雨天浇花
汤姆：你拿喷壶做什么？
丹：我要去浇花。
汤姆：可是，在下雨呀！
丹：没关系，我穿着雨衣呢！
4. Two birls
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
5、he Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
6、The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother. "I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
7、 A physics Examination
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
一次物理考试
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
8.Too Fast or Too Slow
A man was driving at 130 miles an hour when a policeman overtook him.
"Was I driving too fast,officer?"the man asked.
"NO,"the policeman answered,"You were flying too slow."
太慢或太快
一个男人正在以130英里每小时的速度行驶，当一个警察看见他时， 他问：“我开的太快了吗？警官。”
“不”，警察说，“你飞的太慢了。”
9.Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
10. Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom. "What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.告诉
(2) nest n.窝；巢
(3) description n.描述
(4) encourage v.鼓励
(5) resemble v. 相似；类似
鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
11.He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
12.I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
13.Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，„醉‟字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
14.
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow". 老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".
15
“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”
“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”
16.
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
第二篇:《初中英语谚语大全》
初中英语谚语大全
2012-05-08 点击：1133
初中英语谚语大全：
Where there is a will, there is a way.有志者，事竟成。
Well begun is half done.好的开端是成功的一半。
East, west, home is best.金窝、银窝，不如自己的草窝。
Practice makes perfect. 熟能生巧。
God helps those who help themselves. 天助自助者。
Easier said than done. 说起来容易做起来难。
Where there is a will，there is a way. 有志者事竟成。
One false step will make a great difference. 失之毫厘，谬之千里。 Slow and steady wins the race. 稳扎稳打无往而不胜。
A fall into the pit，a gain in your wit. 吃一堑，长一智。
Experience is the mother of wisdom. 实践出真知。
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. 只工作不玩耍，聪明孩子也变傻。 Beauty without virtue is a rose without fragrance.无德之美犹如没有香味的玫瑰，徒有其表。
More hasty，less speed. 欲速则不达。
Its never too old to learn. 活到老，学到老。
All that glitters is not gold. 闪光的未必都是金子。
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.千里之行始于足下。 Look before you leap. 三思而后行。
Rome was not built in a day. 伟业非一日之功。
Great minds think alike. 英雄所见略同。
well begun，half done. 好的开始等于成功的一半。
It is hard to please all. 众口难调。
Out of sight，out of mind. 眼不见，心不念。
Facts speak plainer than words. 事实胜于雄辩。
Call back white and white back. 颠倒黑白。
First things first. 凡事有轻重缓急。
Ill news travels fast. 坏事传千里。
A friend in need is a friend indeed. 患难见真情。
live not to eat，but eat to live. 活着不是为了吃饭，吃饭为了活着。 Action speaks louder than words. 行动胜过语言。
East or west，home is the best. 金窝银窝不如自家草窝。
Its not the gay coat that makes the gentleman. 君子在德不在衣。
Beauty will buy no beef. 漂亮不能当饭吃。
Like and like make good friends. 趣味相投。
The older， the wiser. 姜是老的辣。
Do as Romans do in Rome. 入乡随俗。
An idle youth，a needy age. 少壮不努力，老大徒伤悲。
As the tree，so the fruit. 种瓜得瓜，种豆得豆。
To live is to learn，to learnistobetterlive.活着为了学习，学习为了更好的活着。 Where there is a will， there is a way. 有志者事竟成。
Nothing is too difficult in the world if you set your mind into it. 世上无难事，只怕有心人。
Every coin has two sides. 每枚硬币都有两面;凡事皆有好坏。
Don't troubles trouble until trouble troubles you. 不要自找麻烦。
No pains，no gains. 不劳无获
There is no royal road to learning.学无坦途。
Look before you leap. First think, then act.三思而后行。
It is never too late to mend.亡羊补牢，犹为未晚。
Light come, light go.来得容易，去得快。
Time is money.时间就是金钱。
A friend in need is a friend indeed.患难见真交。
Great hopes make great man.远大的希望，造就伟大的人物。
After a storm comes a calm.雨过天晴。
All roads lead to Rome.条条大路通罗马。
Art is long, but life is short.人生有限，学问无涯。
Stick to it, and you'll succeed.只要人有恒，万事都能成。
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.早睡早起，富裕、聪明、身体好。
A good medicine tastes bitter.良药苦口。
It is good to learn at another man's cost.前车之鉴。
Keeping is harder than winning.创业不易，守业更难。
Let's cross the bridge when we come to it.船到桥头自然直。
More haste, less speed.欲速则不达。
No pains, no gains.不劳则无获。
Nothing is difficult to the man who will try.世上无难事，只要肯登攀。 Where there is life, there is hope.生命不息，希望常在。
An idle youth, a needy age.少壮不努力，老大徒伤悲。
We must not lie down, and cry, "God help us."求神不如求己。
A plant may produce new flowers; man is young but once.花有重开日，人无再少年。
God helps those who help themselves.自助者，天助之。
What may be done at any time will be done at no time.明日待明日，明日不再来。
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.只工作，不玩耍，聪明孩子也变傻。 Diligence is the mother of success.勤奋是成功之母。
Truth is the daughter of time.时间见真理。
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